It has been a wild month. It has been a crazy month. It has been a month of tears. It has been a month of trials. It has been a month of endurance. And I survived the month.
You have those times where you are not sure you will make it, but you have no idea what “not making it” would even look like. You fight like hell, but everything in you wants to roll over and admit defeat. The problem with my personality (and others that have a personality that is similar to mine) is that there is this big thing in the way…….. PRIDE. Pride gets in the way and doesn’t let you give up, but pride also gets in the way and won’t let you say you simply can’t do it when that is exactly what you need to say.
After three weeks of 7 day work weeks and the most redonkulous hours, a breath of relief came. We had survived. We weathered the storm. I traveled from Los Angeles to Seattle and that final evening, it was like a weight was lifted. We made it. The light at the end of my tunnel through the last month as been a dear friend of mine. At the end of the chaos, I had two and a half days of bliss to spend with a friend that I met during my time in Tampa, Florida. We joke and say we are the same person, we are stubborn, we are fighters, we are adventure seekers, we are…. the list goes on. We are besties for life.
She (Kelly) climbs mountains and snow boards on the regular. Then you have me, spending my life in the flat lands of Indiana and Florida. One afternoon we took the trek to Mount Rainier National Park for a climb. Started with sunshine and fought the fog at the top.
(My pride kicks in here again). My body was dying. Vertical paths. My baby calfs were twitching like they have never twitched before. Rather than admitting it was hard and I needed breaks for 90% of the climb, I fought and I fought and I fought. Fighting is good, but I can tell you that the moment that I dropped my pride and said, “Kelly, this is testing my pride. I am never the weak one and no, I can’t stop, we have to make it to the top,” my soul felt lighter. While there is not much she could do to help me, just being honest and pure took away a burden I didn’t know I was even carrying. I am thankful that I have a friend that can challenge me and pull the ugliness out of me. What joy it is to drop that pride at your feet and walk right over it.
So, in the chaos, this is what God is teaching me. He is teaching me to be stronger by being weaker and it never felt so good.